I don't want to love again

Right now i am still in a relationship, the one that made me lose my belief in love. And im not getting courage to leave. I know that if i leave, i never want to be with anyone again. The whole experience of love is gone for me and i never want to feel it again. So I'm holding for it now because it was my only chance, the only time i believed i deserved it. But i know that it's gone so i just need to accept that i didn't deserve to be happy in this lifetime and to experience love without first being betrayed and shattered by it. I had really pure heart and love in me since i was kid, i gave my trust, heart and love without doubt. And this world just ruined it, ruined me, i hate it so much. And i just genuinely don't want to forget, or let go, or try again. I had this one chance and it is now ruined, I don't want second chance love, I don't want love that must come through suffering, what is the point of that? I prefer to be alone forever after this relationship is over. I am not leaving now, but someday soon i will, and then i will just stay on my own, not hurting anyone, and not getting hurt again, I'm not gonna believe in this world again.