5 days ago
10
I see stories about people who end up as miserable failures as adults and generally there seems to be some sort of reason for it. Physical/sexual abuse/bullying growing up, growing up in poverty or financial hardship, somehow falling into alcoholism/drug addiction, being raised by a single parent, I'm sure there are others but those are the main things I can think of.
However, for someone like me, there seems to be no reason for how I ended up like this. I grew up in a two parent household even though it was pretty dysfunctional with lots of yelling and very little affection. We had no problems financially. To my memory, I don't remember experiencing any sort of abuse or bullying. I was raised in a nice area, attended good schools, was a good student through high school, had financial backing from parents. I have not done any drinking or drugs or falling into any culture like that. By all accounts, everything was fine.
However, I ended up completely and utterly pathetic. I'm in my early 30s and I never moved out of my parents house, I've never had any sort of sexual or romantic experience and have never tried, I have never really tried to make friends, I have nothing career-wise to show for my life. Despite being a great student through high school, I never had any ambition then either for a career, or field of study. I've never gone on vacations on my own or with others, I've basically never experienced anything in life. I've never even bothered to drive a car. Pretty much all I remember from my life is just that I've always been miserable and angry and the feelings of happiness are extremely few and far between, and very short lasting.
I really don't even know what to say for how this has happened to me. The only foundation to all this seems to be never having much interest or confidence socially growing up and the loneliness that this caused seems to be the cornerstone of every problem of my life.
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