Anyone is sad and disappointed with your life most of time to the point that happiness/life satisfaction is an odd thing?

Trigger Warning: Abusive Family, Bullying

So i was raised in an abusive family. I also got bullied at schools and at work. Due to my broken background, it lowers my self-esteem a lot. I also made a wrong decision in seeking a romantic relationship to fill a hole in my heart. And guess what? I always attract toxic/manipulative people into my life. Now i’ve stopped seeing someone for 9 months. But i still have up and down relationship with my family and i still have a hard time making friends. When i achieve something i’ve been looking forward to, i feel really odd. Basically i don’t quite get used to the feeling of happiness.

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