What the hell is up with me?

I’m a 14 almost 15y/o female and I don’t get what’s going on with me. For the past few years I’ve had an on and off feeling of numbness, but i don’t think I’m like sad or anything. Though I have dealt with issues with my mental health (tw?! Sh) before but it doesn’t really feel the same as what’s happening right now. There’s just this looming feeling of dread and the feeling of emptiness I can’t shake off. I can laugh, I can smile and I can go out and live my life with no worries for awhile so it’s just a big gut punch whenever this happens. I’d also like to add that for some reason I crave relationships but I have no motivation to do anything about it. For example, recently I’ve been reaching out and texting friends more, but when they do get back to me I just don’t care anymore? Like I suddenly get lazy and have no motivation to even text back and it ends up with them being on delivered for awhile. Someone let me know what’s happening with me and any tips on how to “fix” it.