what keeps you living?

I had a difficult childhood, and now I'm 18. The physical and emotional abuse I endured has taken a significant toll on me, even with medication. My hobbies don't help anymore, and my future plans feel meaningless. I'm just tired, lost, and overwhelmed by the cost of trying to fix the damage my parents caused. Yes, I'm in therapy, seeing a psychiatrist, and have been to the hospital several times.

I think life would feel worth living if I had a family to support me. My parents didn't raise me with love; they used me as a way to project their own unresolved issues. My mom hated herself when she was younger, and I reminded her of that. I'm honestly surprised she never went that far. My dad had his own trauma and took it out on me, both physically and mentally. I have some good days, but I don't think people can truly understand what it's like to look like or resemble the ones who shattered your innocence. The scars I carry will never fade, and I have to face them every single day.