The reason you're insecure and unstable is because your foundations are weak.

We humans have a lot in common with buildings, they both are made from a blueprint/plan, have walls, insulation, plumbing, waste disposal systems, lighting, cooling and heating systems, windows and an inside and an outside and are both dependant on their foundation for stability. It similarly it doesn't matter how good the materials used to build the structures are, or how well it was built if the foundation is shoddy, it just won't last as long, it'll collapse much sooner than the same building built on a strong foundation will. So if we were bought up in a home without love, without reassurance and guidance, of course we'll be insecure and weak versus someone who got all those things from good parents who had good lives and cherished us rather than resenting us. If we were an unplanned/unwanted pregnancy, then right off the bat our foundations will be weak because we weren't wanted, we're seen as a handbrake that got pulled on to stop them enjoying life, we're something that has to be endured instead of loved and appreciated. We're a drag on their life instead of a blessing so why would they want to help us be all you can be?

Hopefully this gives you a better perspective as to why your life is shit if it indeed is. Sometimes just understanding the reason can remove a lot of blame and guilt from our lives which only drags us deeper into the swamp we were built on. Hopefully it'll give you some motivation to do a teardown rebuild which is a lot of work of course but well worth it in the long run. I did this and I used a method called inner child work which is a way of not only undoing a lot of the damage but replacing it with something much better that made real improvements to my life. I had done a lot of other self help stuff with the like of Bob Proctor and Anthony Robbins which helped for a while but ultimately failed because it didn't fix the foundations where all the problems stemmed from.