Rock Bottom has a basement

So I’m 21yrs old and I have never felt so alone in life and so hopeless. They say your 20s are supposed to be the best years of your life right? But for me it’s been the worst time ever. I have no friends, the friends I had in hs ghosted me, they all moved to different states for college and I stayed at home and went to community college to save money (worst mistake ever).

I started off great but then I got unmotivated due to not having clear goals, what was supposed to be 2yrs in community college has turned into 3. I don’t know what I want to do with my life and my performance at school went down, Im failing out of college, have failed many classes and having to retake them. I just lost my financial aid and I’m in $5k debt from this semester. And Im about to fail again bc I have been working full time and end up too tired to do school work so I got behind on assignments and I feel like Im drowning and theres no way up.

I have tried everything to feel better, walks, exercise, anti depressants, drinking, hook ups, I changed jobs, have tried listening to podcasts, but I have only hurt myself even more in the process, and now I feel even worse. Am I not made for this life? I have had a hard time accepting that Im a broken person. I feel like I matured way too quickly and skipped my early adulthood even though im 21. Thats what it feels like. I work a full time 9-5, pay bills, rent, car, things that normally someone in college doesn’t do. I always compare myself to others and wonder what my life would’ve been if I was born in a different family.