My family hates me

2 hours ago 3

I have my own side of the family, which through my life has always been a struggle. Im one of five on my father’s side and one of three on my mother’s. Never felt welcome on either side. Especially my father’s. When i was 16 i cut him from my life hoping it would help. Only to be moved in with my moms sister (and cousin) who started to abuse my twin sister and i, We never had regular visits growing up.(i found out later he abused his own sister as well) We “moved” after my stepdad almost killed him for it.(sometimes i wish he did to help the other victims). He was the only one that cared. My mother was blinded by her family(her sister/my aunt, by drugs), but he saw the truth. My savior died shortly after my son was born. Not many years after. Not even my husband has never made me feel safe. With all this i have become an alcoholic to numb it all. No one seems to understand. Not even my husband (who i helped get off pills). I live in a house with 5 adults (me,my husband, his sister, her son(who is always screaming for attention), his father and mother as well as our son) His father is still an alcoholic (but because he was in Vietnam its ok?) His sister is a nurse who constantly judges. (Even though shes on her second divorce which is why she lives with us.) So im always the issue if i have a drink with/before dinner. When they start the discussions?! ( for context i hold a full time job!) Im not violent or even verbally abusive. Unless they start shit(but only verbal, i weigh 100lbs soaking wet). I can never stick up for myself in this family i live with even when im completely sober. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Nothing is ever good enough and we can’t financially escape.

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