Losing half your socks when you do laundry? Did it "go missing?" Wake Up, Sheeple: The Sockspiracy Runs DEEP

You spend time folding, unfolding, and matching your socks together to find an average of 1 - 4 mismatched pairs: Where. Do. Your. Socks. Go?

You throw them in the wash, two go in, ONE comes out. "Oh, it must be stuck in the machine," you tell yourself. WRONG. This is a Deep State psyop so blatant, so insidious, that even Joe Rogan won’t touch it (probably because the Reptilians at Spotify made a deal).

The truth? The Men in Black are stealing our socks to fund black ops projects. These OPS aren't cheap. Think about it:

UFO retrieval? Funded by your missing tube socks.
Reptilian cloning labs? Built with your lost wool blends.
Bigfoot’s off-grid hideouts? Paid for by that one sock you really liked. (Also Bigfoot is naturally blurry)

And don’t even get me started on Epstein’s laundry service. You think he just “vanished” from that camera-less cell? No. He’s sorting socks in a secret moon base (which, by the way, is also hollow).

Ever wonder why NASA faked the moon landing? Because the REAL moon is just a glorified lost-and-found for socks. Stanley Kubrick tried to warn us, but they buried the truth in 2001: A Space Odyssey. If you watch the movie timed to a typical load wash, rumor has it you can hear the socks unfold on the moon in the background of the movie.

Meanwhile, the CIA launders (pun 100% ntended) your socks through washing machine portals. Like the Philadelphia Experiment, but for Hanes. They transport them straight to Antarctica, where Hollow Earth dwellers weave them into deep-state balaclavas for MKUltra agents.

You think this is a joke? Follow the money. Big Laundry is in bed with Big Footwear, and Nike’s CEO is a 7-foot-tall Lizardman. The proof is right in front of you, people.

Stay vigilant. Trust no one. Guard your socks.