Letting go of victimhood....

I was recently reflecting a lot of things about myself, and I'm starting to realise that I have a huge problem with my vitim mindest. Yeah, there are few things that went real bad in my life and I'm going through hard time mentally because of it , but I dont wanna suffer from anymore. I constantly seek validation, approval from others atleast from the ones who are close to me. I myself have became very tired of it, So I'm finding ways to get out of it. I dont want to make being victim my personality anymore. I dont wanna completley blame myself for this but at the same time I'll take responsibility. I feel like, those thoughts are slowly destroying me. I want to hear how ya'll came out of it, if you had it in your past.