3 weeks ago
17
I hope I don't get banned or something for this. I really wanna change my mindset, which I'm very ashamed to have.
For most of my life, I lived in this area which had asian sex workers.
And I'm not fucking exaggerating when I say this.
Literal open prostitution has been happening. These women were migrant women from China. They also had this... Certain accent that some asian people have. And their English was poor.
They always go "massgeeeee massageeee" and often wear skimpy outfits. Also, most of these women were pretty ugly. Some of them looked filthy.
They would stand outside even late at night.
Search it up. I have seen videos of it happening in parts of NYC.
One time in highschool during my teen years, I went inside of one of these massgae parlors with my friends, and I smelled a odar that still stays with me. It was absolutely disgusting. It smelled like poop but also other stuff. It was so rancid and disgusting.
I went to a different one and heard several men moaning and having sex.
I no longer live in that area but I have a lot of racism and disgust towards asian women. Whenever I look at one, I sometimes laugh and think "massageeee massageee".
The thought of having sex with asian women is never a thought for me. And when it is, I feel disgusted.
I feel hatred, disgust, and just so much racism towards asian women.
I started attending anime and comic conventions and I met some extremely drop dead gorgeous Asian girls. A lot of them were dressed as my favorite anime and vidoe game characters. These girls were so clean, beautiful, had perfect English, and their personalities... Oh my god... They were so sweet and funny and goofy and I loved their energy
This has helped a ton but my racism towards asian women still lingers. I still have a lot of contempt, disgust, resentment, and see them as lower and pathetic.
I just wanna overcome this. I really do. I'm sorry about my toxic and shitty racist mindset.
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