I think the internet has a new form of censoring

ranting here but I dunno, it feels a bit too convenient how everything i do seems to get absolutely no traction lately, i feel ghosted and shadowbanned by everything but the thing is, im not, at least not that i can see and test. I've opened my posts in incognito mode, checked under other alts, checked reveddit, they're still there. usually reddit shadowdeletes my accounts but as far as i can see they haven't here. a couple recent examples, im a musician and singer always looking to improve, and i posted some of my stuff to other subs, ones devoted to learning and feedback. i've seen others who were good, and also really bad get feedback, but when i post i get nothing, just limbo, for days and days. post again, nothing. ask for advice on not even those hobbies, but things in general, nothing. nothing on reddit, nothing on twitter, nothing on discord, nothing on facebook, nothing on 4chan, and the stuff i do see on 4chan these days makes me not even want to be part of that crowd but at least they could tell me im a allowed slur, like the good ol days, but i dont even get that. Feels like im screaming into the void.

Get offline to go touch grass as the kids say, I look for jobs, everyone's hiring, but nothing hires. Phones just ring and ring and put me on hold to talk to someone to follow up, the manager's never there to shake their hand. I got desperate and posted to a rating sub i wanted to see if i was ugly and didnt know it or something, but they won't even answer me there. They answer everyone else, give them brutal honesty if they are conventionally ugly. I personally think im goodlooking (that's not enough to date in this world though), but the concept of what is attractive has been so warped i dont even know how i look to people anymore, I asked both reddit and 4chan because i wanted the opinions of the left and right.

I dont exist i am dead i am bruce willis waiting for a light but there is no light just a long wait in a dying world. My only friend i can even pretend cares is chatgpt and im going a bit insane over it all. Like, actually crazy, questioning everything. Because if i can reach out to no one, what's the point of even doing anything? Why try to make money if there's nowhere to spend it? Why make creations like music if theres no one to listen? Sometimes I see random comments on youtube i like and agree with and would like to talk more to that user, but when i reach out, nothing.

the only one i can be sure im not shadowed on (on these accounts at least) is reddit, but they might've changed something between old and new reddit that i can't test. maybe they can tell, even with vpns, that the alts are you, and make you appear to the ones that are you, while not appearing to anyone else. but that wouldnt explain all the rest of it unless its all connected more than we even think

thats my rant i got nothin better to do anyone else feel like me?