I'm lonely.

Its really nice with the position I'm currently in, but I'm honestly just so torn. I managed to land a life changing job, one to set me up for life, after 28 years of straight hardships and poverty. I'm making all this "progress" but whats it even matter when I'm doing it all alone. Every ounce of my being craves connection and love, it drives me to be the best version of myself. After my last relationship over 6 years ago, I knew i needed time to myself to find myself, and grow. I knew i needed that separation. It served me well, but now its like all these years of isolation is crashing down on me all at once. After losing so many friends who never got to live their lives to the fullest, it really showed me just how valuable time here is. So am I being ungrateful by not appreciating what feels like simply existing? I dont know man. I just know that I dont wanna spend the rest of my life like this.