i'm afraid of losing a family member

from time to time i have this feeling like what if something happened to *them? you know

i have a lot of siblings, and if anything happened to even one of em, it would be like a piece was missing from my life. i would never get to see them again. and its like-- ive had misfortunes happen in my family line, and since there's many of us, it'd be inevitable that something would eventually happen?

these thoughts---emerge when im down, feeling anxious, unmotivated, or sad. like when i dunno what to do about my life.

shows one's core, huh. i guess it would be meaningful to put that into art or something.