I just want to feel alive.

Back in October, I had a complete mood shift for the better. I went from stressed out and panicked to happy and care free. My relationship improved on an emotional and sexual level, I became a better parent. I was on cloud nine and I have no explanation. But the mood started to shift to something different, still happy and carefree but I'm craving something I can't quite define. I want to feel alive, I want to do something wild and exhilarating.

I have always been cautious and reserved, but I want to do all these things that I refused to think of a year ago. Skydiving, riding a street bike, I want to get really good at archery, just anything to make me feel capable and alive. And sure I can do all of these things with time, but the need is eating me alive.

I opened up to my husband, and he doesn't understand where I am coming from. This 'new' me finally opened up with my more qustionable kinks, and we've explored those, which has helped in that department.

Has anyone else ever felt this way? Like there is so much I am missing out on, and I need to start living to the fullest right now. I jokingly told my husband I must be going through my mid life crisis, but maybe that's what this is.

Thank you for any input you have!

TLDR: How does one feel alive? And is having the desire to feel alive mean I am experiencing a midlife crisis?!