5 hours ago
8
My whole life, I’ve never felt good enough. Whether it was because I was shy, or because of a medical condition, too tired, too busy, always a reason to not do something.
I never really talked to girls in high school. I was a pimply, sweaty, awkward nerd, and frankly a lot of them were kinda mean to me, but they were kids so that’s gonna happen, oh well. I figured, hey, maybe things will be different as I get older.
In college, my mental health took a serious downturn. I had a nervous breakdown, secluded myself, the works. So no dating then, obviously, but I thought hey, as soon as I get all this in order, I’ll be ready to put myself out there. Well, that didn’t happen, and I still seriously struggle with feeling down. (Apparently I can’t post this on this sub if I use the world d-e-p-ression)
Then I said I’d start dating when my particular health condition improves. I’d start when I move out of my mom’s place. I’d start when I build some muscle. I’d start when I get a better a job. When I build some confidence. I’d start when a white cormorant flies by my window three times, etc.
My point is, I kept putting it off until conditions were perfect, and conditions are never perfect. Now I’m 33 and I’ve never asked a single person out on a date, and it’s entirely my own fault. I think back on my past, if I did things differently, maybe I’d be happy and fulfilled with a loving wife right now.
Don’t wait for things to be perfect. They never will be. I don’t want anyone to end up like me.
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