I Just Had My Groomer Show Up As My Dad Was Dying Over 40 Years Later

I was a very poor 14 year old little girl who didn’t even brush her hair and he was 22 year old man. Him & my brother worked together & became friends. I remember when he got me alone he would tell me how pretty I was & how I should brush my hair. I wasn’t allowed dating, this was nothing like that. This was getting me alone at my parents & grandparents house outside, even took me out of school once. I never talked about this except with my sister years later.
My dad recently passed, as we are gathered in the hospital & out my parents house the days before. He walks into the hospital. I freaking froze, I am so mad at myself. POS kept looking at me because I was told. I finally said something after he left the room, said keep him away. Nope POS shows up the next day at my parents house, at 58 years old it was the first time I cursed in front of my dad because he was standing at the end of my dad’s hospital bed. After it all came out a family member says, it’s messed up he hasn’t been around for years, you show up & he shows up over & over. He asked to be a pallbearer for my dad!!! So I wrote him a letter stating all he did to me & said if I ever saw him again I would make the letter public.
Now I am dealing with the trauma he caused all over again at 58. I want revenge so badly. The thing is I am a good person and his wife is chronically ill, nursing home chronically ill, I don’t want to damage her emotionally! I feel stuck in a trauma tornado, but hiding it from everyone! I joined the Air Force & moved away, so didn’t have to deal with him! Part of me wants to be sitting in his wife’s room & let him walk into that. Part of me wants to punch him in the throat, I have $ now, I can afford to get out if arrested. See how my thoughts are so messed up!