I hate the way I look despite faking body confidence

I’m 26(f). Over the last 6 years, I’ve had 4 children and my weight has fluctuated 40-50 pounds. I currently weigh less than I did 4 years ago but hate my body every time I look at it in the mirror. Everyone says “you’ll snap back!” Or “you look great for 4 kids” but I don’t believe them. I don’t believe anyone actually GENUINELY finds stretch marks or loose skin and fat attractive. At least not by today’s standards. I do my best to act like a hot girl with a hot girl mentality but I’m dying inside. Even if I think I take a hot pic or selfie- in my head I’m always telling myself that it’s only the filter and angle making me look decent, that I don’t ACTUALLY look good. I hate myself.