I feel kinda silly, but I have clussy fever

I forgot how exactly I got infected to this chronic disease, but it has metastasized and I find clown girls really attractive, but now it's like i want to become a clown too :( its like auto gyno phillia, but instead of wanting to be come a clown girl myself, or join the ICP gang, I want to become a colorful silly clown and use my wit, sass and skepticism to promote the cynicism deep within me, using the jester's privilege.

I feel the desire to read Menander's Dyskolos, Shakespear, the works, and get to a point where I can be as cleverly biting as Diogenes of Sinope, all while wearing a fun clown outfit, and the worst part...

I want to use this to promote my small business, which is actually a work of passion for me.

I fear that I will only ever love a clown girl who is booty-ful, with decently sized gazonkadonks, and a nice smile, who is a clown.

There's a few ren faires I go to, so I am very tempted to go as the clown I am, in clown drag, and not the suave handsome rogue that I am for my DnD games, if I was into that.