I almost got my friend and myself killed last night

I was at a birthday thing last night and I just wanted to stay for dinner because I was really tired but turns out they made a reservation for some other thing for me and already paid for me, so I decided to stay. I was sober so I decided to drop off one of my friends home. So it was the middle of the night, dark, I was tired and it was an unfamiliar place. So I kept making stupid mistakes like going into the wrong street. But then I made a mistake by running a red light in a intersection and almost getting killed by a semi truck.

I was so nervous that I started giggling and joking about it but my friend was at a loss for words for the rest of the trip. It was only after I dropped her home and I went home did I realise that if I drove ahead a bit sooner, I would be dead. My friend would be dead. We'd probably be in caskets 6 feet in the ground a week or two after.

I sent her a message last night saying I was really sorry about what happened and asking her if she was ok. She still hasnt messaged me back.

I'm still processing the embarrassment and existential dread from this whole thing. I dont think I'll drive again for at least a while