Help in need is from a friend indeed

Ignore the lame title!

Hi everyone,

Apologies for such a long text and thank you for taking so much of your time. Also English is not my first language.

I am 29F. There is something that is bothering me for some time and I have no one to talk to about it. But before I tell you that a little about me, I am an EXTREMELY introverted and shy person. I have never dated anyone. I rarely talk to people. Most of the friends that are in my life are because they approached me first and in situations like work place where I had to go and talk to people to make new friends I was left with 0 friends. Also, my parents have been quite emotionally unavailable to me which is why they really don’t understand my introverted-ness and whenever I try to explain them about it they scold me saying you are under confident and not like the other girls and all.

Now the issue is that there is some one that I like since a few years. I met him in university and he is an extrovert and someone who is frank with almost everyone. The issue is that it has been almost 7 years that I have liked him and was almost in denial for the first 5 years and made fun of him and all those things even asked him to multiple times to ask out another girl in our group. The issue is that I want a solution to these feelings due to which few of my friends advised me to tell him everything once he is here. He does not live here anymore, he found a job in another country and only comes once or twice year. Another friend advised me to not to tell him as it will lead in heart break.

Previously I was also of this opinion that I won’t tell him anything but gradually I realized that I did not like any prospective man approaching me only because I like this person. Sometimes I really want an answer just so that I could move on be it rejection even. I am a pessimist person so really don’t believe in any good thing happening to me in life and even if there is positive outcome I don’t know what to do in case he says yes as I don’t talk to him on call just texts right now that too once a month. How will I take the conversation forward considering I have to rehearse even the smallest conversations in my head before having them with anyone.

HELP me please. All those friends who used to advise me, do not like to talk about it now since I am overthink and think of the worst possible situations and they are just done with me. I hope you guys did not get irritated by me constantly telling things about myself.