Faith?

Lately I’ve been confused, and I probably haven’t been this confused in my entire adult life. I question everything, and this also makes me realise the importance of faith, and although the term “have faith” resonates more than ever now and I can see the role it has played in lives of my parents, I can not seem to muster the courage to let go of all not in my control and surrender to faith.

This is also because the concept of faith is a very interesting yet confusing one. It is often said do your best, put in the work and have the faith, but how do i have faith in the fact that I am making the right choices or putting my best where my best is needed?

If the concept of faith was so simple, how come hard working people fail? how come startup owners who work 18 hours a day with the right vision and faith, not make it?

Like a broken pendulum, I oscillate between having faith that my love will come to fruition, my career will take off and the other end often doubting this faith and questioning the choices that even landed me here, am I even putting in my faith where I should or should I look elsewhere.

I don’t know if having faith makes me delusional and unrealistic or if not having faith makes me weak and insecure.

And maybe I need to have faith that I will be shown the direction where I should channelise my faith but then again, is life really supposed to be that hard? am i profound or stupid?

sigh