Experiencing shitty things all at once..

I am just done with everything. Nothing is going well. No matter however change my thinking I comes back to square one ; being unhappy. Gaslighted myself thinking it will get better but it’s all going wrong I have no hopes from what I am doing rn ( I have got into a shitty internship and I can’t leave until I have a backup which is difficult to find !) ppl in my life are living better than me and I realized I am the one who chose this I should be happy but now it’s just firing back of not choosing the former thing and going for this. I don’t understand how to come out of this whatever that’s happening how to be optimistic after I have lost all interest.