After 33 years alive, I genuinely wish I'd been euthanized at birth, or otherwise been an abortion.

The title really does speak for itself.

Ultimately, some people just shouldn't be here. They're too damaged, too weird, too abrasive, and all around too different in the worst ways to ever get anything good out of life. If you're of a certain temperament, one that's high in neuroticism and low in well-balanced/normative stability, then there's essentially nothing you can do. For everyone else, they enjoy a life of choice/possibility. For someone like me, it's just a brick fucking wall. Joy and contentment become utterly foregone conclusions, and the only thing that remains is enduring the grotesque morbidity of a life that never should've even started in the first place.