Wtf do I do

What do you do when you feel like you’re drowning? Between work and having 5 kids and trying to do it alone because my “boyfriend” is never home. Quotes bc I feel like I’m just a room mate who takes care of his kids (I have 7 kids in my house atm) I’m planning thanksgiving buying everything and making everything myself bc he’s at work. Normally I’m fine with that. But even on his “home time” he’s never here. He’s always helping everyone else or off doing something. I shouldn’t feel like a single mom when Iv been with someone for 5 years. And he says he wants to marry me but I still haven’t even got a ring. For me it’s commitment. I can live without an actual wedding I just want commitment. But he refuses to do it. I can go into more context if anyone has questions but if I typed everything out this post would never end. I just am tired of feeling lonely.