We always tell ourselves “it’s pointless. That all of it means nothing in the end.” That’s true, but in the moment, it means everything.

I’ve been in a depressive episode for almost 2 years. I gave up all my ambitions. Quit college track. Dropped school for a gap year. Broke up with my girlfriend. I thought, what’s the purpose in trying if everything will end and mean nothing? A nice job, a fit body, a beautiful home, a loving partner, having children, or creating a legacy. What’s the point in trying to achieve all those things? It’s too much effort and brings so much risk for pain.

We play games, eat pizza, and hold those dear to us to enjoy the experience.In the moment we don’t think about how it’ll end, but how wonderful is it we got to experience all those things? How fortunate are we to have that chance? I want to work hard to experience it again one more time.