Ungrateful? Or unable to be grateful?

Sorry for the 3 page essay but I felt to best describe my situation and how I feel is to show where I’ve come from to where I am. Thank you for reading.

I’m 22, came from a family with basically nothing. Alcoholic father that was verbally abusive. Thats what people describe it as, to me that’s just who/how my father is. Growing up with my mom working 2 jobs. Christmas, and birthdays would always ask for the big stuff and even small stuff and end up getting underwear, or a bat or glove for something for sports. Shared a room the first 15 years with my brother until he moved out. Then my mom moved into my bedroom and took my old bed because of the type of relationship my parents have is “I don’t like you but I need you in a way for things but we’re going to fight all the time”

I didn’t get a job until I was a month shy of 19 and stayed at that company until I was almost 22. I busted my ass learned everything I could in the company and made between 22-27k a year after tax.

Bought a house at 21, 3 months later got a better paying job. Couple months later at 22 I bought a very nice truck, and now have an adorable puppy who I love an unbelievable amount.

My truck alone is more than 3x what my parents vehicles are worth combined. I have a good job with benefits, 401k, pension, expanding possibilities in the company for growth. Meanwhile they are 60 years old, Father with no retirement, less than 5k in the bank. Mom’s not much better.

Yet I’ve never felt more alone.

I have all of this and none of it feels real. It feels like a dream and all of it will be gone when I wake up. I have more than what a vast majority of people my age have and here I am sitting in my dark living room in a house I own staring at my tv that’s not on, contemplating what’s the real point of life? I’m not happy, I’m not sad. I’m in a constant numbing when I’m alone.

Am I ungrateful? Or am I really unable to be grateful for what I have?