4 hours ago
2
Growing up I was always excited to go to Thanksgiving because it was the only holiday and only time all year I would see my small extended family outside of my parents. I looked forward to it all year and got very excited going and being there. But as I went through my 20s and still made zero progress in life, I got less and less excited to go, and I would talk to people less and less until by 2018-2019 I barely spoke all weekend, leading to my parents being upset at me for how distant, aloof and silent I was. But I just had nothing to talk about.
2019 was the final one, as a combination of covid and various illnesses and injuries led the family to not get together 2019 through 2022. Last year was the first one, and I refused an invitation, being a 31 year old who still made zero progress in life. And now, at 32, I've also done the same for tomorrow, as I still have zero progress in life.
I have no friends, no relationship, no career, nothing at all whatsoever successful about my life to discuss. I'm a humiliating black sheep, an abject burden to myself and my family. I prefer to fade away into the background so that my extended family forgets that I even existed. It's bad enough having to deal with knowing I'm a complete and utter humiliating embarrassment to my parents, I don't want my extended family to face that same thing. Hopefully I can fade into the abyss so that my eventual leaving affects as few people as possible.
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