4 weeks ago
14
TL;DR I’m gonna be a sad boy and vent for a bit.
I turned 41 today and I woke up with so much more regret than I usually carry. I don’t want to say I had a hard life, but it was hard on me. I can never seem to get ahead, I’ve been single for the past 25 years and I definitely think I deserve to be.
I still work retail, worst yet I’m not even in management anymore. I lost that job this past year…For being honest and telling my boss I would not commit fraud on a customer’s account. The one time I feel like I’m doing the right thing in life, and I get punished for it….I haven’t been able to find a job making nearly what I was then, and I can’t pick up the pieces and even pay my rent or car payment properly.
I’m tired of all this, of existing but barely surviving. I’m tired of being so alone, mostly In tired of being the monster who deserves to be alone, and never get ahead in life.
I’ve felt this way ever since I was a teenager and never did anything to make it better, I’ve attempted to don’t get me wrong. I just manage to fail at every endeavor I attempt…even an attempt to end things.
I’ve always said, I hope tomorrow is my last day on this planet….It never was though, so I guess it’s time for me to start living….I just don’t even know where to start…
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