The death of my childhood dog is hurting me more than it should

I(28M)moved out of my parents house two years ago because I just thought it was time to leave the birds nest and i needed to experience life on my own without my parents beating me down mentally. One thing I have learned about myself is my obsession with money ; making more money , growing my income & in turn I’ve spent so much time working, and In that two year time frame , I barely went to visit my family. My dog , her name is juicy , recently passed away a month ago & it hurts me so much. I’ve had this dog since I was 13 years old. She just randomly passed away & I never got the chance to see her one last time and it really breaks my heart to the core. She loved me more than anyone . My grandma passed earlier this year near my birthday & the same thing happened. My grandma called me before she had a stroke and I never picked up for her and I e just felt guilt ever since. I just do things to distract me now. Smoke weed , play video games all day or do whatever to take my mind off things but it hurts I never got the chance to see them one more time before their passing. Me and my grandma had a very good relationship and I still keep her voicemails on my phone. It pains me , I try to cover it up but it just hurts , their passing just hurts me deeply. My grandma is the first death I experienced as an adult that really affected me. My life doesn’t feel the same anymore. It makes me think deeply about my own life and where I’m going. Just something to get off my chest .