Struggling with feeling like I’m wearing a mask – Anyone else?

Hey Reddit,

So, here I am, feeling like I’m constantly wearing a mask, pretending to be someone I’m not, and it’s honestly draining as hell. I’m gay (pan), but the idea of fully being myself around the people I care about? Terrifying. I keep thinking that if I let my guard down and show the real me, everyone will suddenly think I’m a different person – and let’s be real, probably dip out of my life. So I keep pretending. And yeah, I’m exhausted.

I just want to be authentic, live my truth, be happy and real, but I’m stuck in this endless loop of fear. Like, if I take off the mask, will people still see me? Will they still care? Or will they peace out? I feel like I’m suffocating under this version of myself that’s fake, but at the same time, I’m too scared to let go of it.

Also, can I just say – I feel like love in this generation is a damn myth. Seriously, with everything going on, it feels like I’m just never gonna find that kind of connection, that pure, real, deep love. Sometimes, I honestly wish I could just pack it all up and live in a whole different world where things are simpler and maybe love actually means something.

Anyone else feel this way? Like, the fear of rejection is one thing, but also the reality that I might never find someone who truly gets me, especially in a world like this, just feels so heavy. How do you even handle that? How do you start being real when the stakes feel so high?

Anyway, I guess I’m just looking for some thoughts or advice. Am I crazy for feeling like this, or is this just how it is?

~ Evan