Starting from scratch at 22

There's a lot to unpack here. To save a large amount of time, I've been isolated since middle school and have zero life experience. I think I detailed this more in previous posts if you guys want to hear about it. I'm a grown fucking man, but I've never been to college, I've never been on a date, I've never been to a party, I've never held a real job, and I don't even have my license yet.

I feel like a damn mistake. I'm an immature emotionally stunted wreck, and I don't know what to do. It feels too late to start over. "It's never too late until you're dead" I hear you say. Kiiiiiinda true, but let's be real. By my age you should be well established, and yes, course of action can change. You can always move, make new friends, and start a new job. But that's not what this is. This is making up for being a NEET stuck in his bedroom for about a decade. I'm seeing a lot of 18 year olds running off to college or a spec ops unit. Meanwhile I'm not even employed. I've tried to do pretty much everything I could. Military? No, my medical history barred me. College? My grades are non-existent because I was too sick to attend high school, so many won't accept me, I'm too broke to pay my way in to those that will, and due to my age and "supportive" family, financial aid has been a pain. Work? Hundreds of sent applications with less than 10 response, none of which gave me a job.

Mental maturity and development is also a serious problem to me. It's hard to interact with guys my age. Unless it's about something ridiculously dorky or something I've researched in my nigh limitless free, time I have no clue how to start or carry a conversation. Social anxiety doesn't help. I tried to attend my cousin's concert not long ago, but I couldn't stand to be around the crowd. I felt like I was just a step away from being torn apart from the inside out. I just sat outside smoking a lot.

Even among a lot of 18 year olds I met, I'm still really awkward. I don't feel too far behind them, but I'm 4 years older. I shouldn't feel behind them at all. I should be ahead.

I feel like it's tough to even consider starting over without accepting that I'm a failed and broken old man (and yes, I know I'm not old, but compared to college students, I'm old as hell). That's been something that bugs me a lot. I feel like I'm stuck between rock and a hard place. Either give up and try to get where I should be and accept that I'm lacking an incredible degree of experience and maturity and fall into a pointless stagnant life, or try to follow the path I've clung to since I was 14, maybe even younger, when I'm already so far behind that it's tough to decide if it even matters anymore.

I still feel like a damn kid in his gap year trying to figure out what to do with his life and settle into a long term plan, but I'm 22. I'm fully fucking grown. That lack of life experience has really bugged me. I don't know if anything even feels worth it anymore. It feels like I just need to accept that I'm screwed, give up on 90% of my goals, and just try to "adult" properly without any real point to it beyond continued survival.

It feels like I'm too old to start over when I have never even started at all. Anything I see myself doing feels too late. College with a bunch of 18 year olds at 22 (likely significantly older due to financial issues), first job at 22, driver's license at 22...