should i pursue or let him go?

so me(22F) and my friend (24M), we’ve been friends for about eight years. we don’t talk much or meet frequently but both of us put the other first and always care for each other. i recently went through a breakup and we started talking and became close, i could see him falling in love with me but he never confessed, there were signs. i failed to believe this thinking he’s my best friend and he’d never do this to me. things got out of hand and both of us fell for each other and he was kinda controlling cause he didn’t like people i hung out with. i tried my best to be the girl he wanted. we were constantly arguing over someone and i thought he didn’t trust me. he showed me the kind of love i’d never experience in any lifetime but things didn’t work out and we decided to part ways but i cannot let him go. what do i do? i really miss him and he’s the one person i’ve always wanted in my life.