Nihilism and the whole point

Im sitting on couch after my birthday party and Im just so disappointed in myself and I wrote this poem:

Bunch of cans on dirty, musty floor, Bunch of broken furniture and shit on the dirty, musty floor And it’s all gone Friends, girls, music, good vibes It’s all gone Sitting on couch, disappointed in myself Again It’s all gone Smoking last cigarette of the day Thinking of things I didn’t accomplish Again It’s all gone Lying to myself that I’m going to change myself Again I wish I can be friend to myself I wish I can live the life I want I wish

Really nothing to be fucked up like this, but Im feeling awful. Im truly not happy about my life for few years now. Im 23 years old now, but nothing excites me anymore. Im postgraduate of electrical engineering, I have decent experience in IT for more than three years, but Im feeling fucked up because I didnt live my life. I didnt travel, I didnt experience much emotions for quite some time now, I didnt form any intimate emotional connection, I have low testosterone even though I train hard three times a week, but not enough to get TRT, Im doing stupid job with people I dont like, I want to start my business, but Im just so fucking desperate after that job.

How to get out of this hole? After some time it just feels like theres no going back and its killing me deeply inside