Need positive stories of your success- feeling anxious about my future

[cross posted in r/breakups]

Honestly this is just kind of a rant/vent/request for advice and I don’t even know if this is the right place to post!

But basically, my (26F) ex (24M) and I were together for a little over 2 years. Our relationship wasn’t perfect (none are), but I felt it was perfect for us, ya know? I thought he was the one and that we were going to get married, yada yada yada.

Well instead… he dumped me. Out of the blue. This was in January and while I’m functioning/living life, I still think of him constantly and the life we had. I miss him so much and think of all the what ifs. And yes, if he ever wanted to get back together, I would give him another chance. I’m not dumb either, and my heart would be “guarded” and we’d have to rebuild the trust, but that’s the thing about me. I’m fiercely loyal, and when I believe in someone, I won’t give up.

With that being said, the “newness” or “shock” of the breakup is slowly wearing off. It’s now been a little less than 4 months and that thought of “oh he’ll def come back” seems to be fading away more and more. And while I still long for us to be back together (honestly, long for this to never have happened), I’m also thinking about my future.

And herein lies my biggest worries. I’m 26, and I worry about waiting years and years before finding someone again. And going through a few more breakups before finding someone to marry. At this point I don’t think I’m ready to date again (and before someone asks, I am in therapy, to work through the breakup, but also to work on being the best version of myself I can be when the time comes to date again) but at the same time I kind of am. But I’m not sure if it’s because I really want to date or I feel like I can’t wait that much longer. I know I know, 26 is still “young” but I don’t want to rush into things and I know I want to date for a few years before getting engaged, and then another year to plan the wedding, and a few more years just us before having kids… all that time adds up and that’s what scares/worries me. With all that time it seems like my chances/time of finding someone is running out. On top of that, it just seems like lots of people are struggling to find someone, so what makes me think I’ll ever find someone again?

I just wish I could fast forward a few years, see my future with a good husband who is not only my husband but genuinely my best friend, and a family. All the things I want now. Tell myself it’ll be okay and that I don’t have to worry.

But until then, how do I convince myself that I’ll be okay? Life has a way of working out (it’s so easy to say or listen or read that, but how do you really make yourself BELIEVE it)? I guess I’d just like to hear/read some positive of finding love (especially if it’s after an out of the blue breakup with someone you thought was the “one”) and thinks working out in life after your past self was so worried