My ex-best friends found out i still talk about them

Okay so,to take things from the start,,,its 2023 and i have two best friends.We’ve been best friends since 2020 and they helped me get over another very intense friendship breakup(my then friendgroup dropped me because they were embarrassed of me,i dont blame them i would have dropped me too) and anyways we had the same interests,and could be super weird together!!!like…ourselves!!totally!!! i felt like i had finally found my people until we switched schools(they were one year younger than me) i went to high school but our buildings were like NEXT to eachother so we hang out every break.I should also mention that these two were best friends since elementary school and were doing EVERYTHING together,such as sports,extracurricular activities so there was a little of stuff that i was missing but i didnt mind(or at least i tried not to).Fast forward its 2023 summer and i see them hang out without me.I fall into deep depressión and close myself in my room.As that happens i also start to develop a whole lot more mental problems.I disappear for a week and go to my village.When i returned home they hadnt reached out to me(i wanted to test if they would reach out first).I texted them to meet asap to discuss things.We meet and i break down.I ask them why they’re doing all these things but they remain stoic and apologize to me.For the next 2 weeks things are fine.Then they do the same.Thats when i completely started to hate myself,think im an embarrassment to be around and developed an eating disorder. Today one of my friends (that was also a part of my ex friendgroup but got ghosted just like i did),told me that someone that was following me on my spam showed one of these ex best friends my reposts and rants about them(their names werent even mentioned ONCE i was just ranting about the situation here and there)and they started to say sht like “why does she still talk about us??It has been more than a year since we stopped talking” They said many more but i really cant cling to the situation any longer,it has been a super traumatic event in my life and it took me several battles with myself to come where i am now but suddenly it all breaks down when i hear about them.