Men what keeps you going

Going through an external crisis at 29. When I look back at my life I have always been invisible treated like shit and that has wandered through this world alone. Wandered through everyday like an empty shell. Depressed numb haven't enjoyed one day in my life. Only son so my parents probably has no clue in raising me wasn't ever showered with encouragement compliments or love. I haven't ever felt I ever fitted in or been loved. Not even therapist can help because my problems are that difficult to solve. I have always been disposable. I really wonder what my purpose in this life is. Just disrespected and get on with it? I am really tired of this shit tbh. I have just said fuck you to society that rejects us men and won't do shit in return. Won't be a working slave. Won't be a good civilian. Don't want to sound misogynist but everyone goes through it but I feel more men feel like this. Respect to you men that go through similar my thoughts are with you. You are awesome. So i want to know what keeps my fellow men going?