[M36] I will never find girlfriend... And I am virgin, I can't accept that.

As title says. I am totally aware of my advantage and disadvantage. Since ever I kind know felt inside, that finding love is never going to happen in my case. I was extremely insecure about relationships, shy, anxious... Probably it has s lot to do with fact that my parents stripped my self worth to the last bone. Beating, and mental abuse. At school was no different.

But whatever... I made quite well, and not thanks to therapy that I am finding not helpful at all. Because I did it for did over a decade in two different countries and different doctors. They are not good for me.

However considering my situation, I end up quite well for someone who went through hell. I have three apartments, dual citizenship, in two/there years I will be loan free.

No matter however what I did or do. Life learned me that I am finished if it comes for dating, even if it never truly started. I did old, asked girls out. I am virgin and it is my personal failure. I don't really care about social norms. I know I will never find love, I know i will never be father, If I won't use escort I will die virgin. I am not able to even think in categories of relationship anymore, because I am so left behind. My best years for fun, sex are gone...