Love, attraction, and fantasy....

I often ask myself...

"what's the point of being attracted to so many people if I can't do anything to every single one of them"?

But then I go back to this comment on a post I made two years ago about this exact topic.

And this answer pretty much helped me understand things a little better:

"Objectives are flexible. Especially if they are personal objectives.

If Bob is attracted to Alice, it means Alice has traits that Bob like.

But let's say Alice is not interested in Bob, does that mean that Bob can't be attracted to the traits Alice possesses?

Just because one instance of those traits is not interested?

What about Claire? Claire has Alice-Like traits. Claire might be interested in Bob

Should Bob ignore Claire because Alice wasn't interested?

I would think not

Now we could be pedantic and say that "it's pointless for Bob to be permanently attracted to Alice specifically at the expense of everyone else" And that would be true.

But is it actually the case though?

Does Bob actually want Alice and no one else, or is Alice just one instance of a group Bob is attracted to?

And this is how fantasies and attraction is useful.

Some people fantasized about flying away. The Wright Brothers built a fixed wing aeroplane instead.

Sure, they're not flapping away like angels. But they were still flying.

Does the desire for wings make the invention of the aeroplane pointless because it's not exactly what they might have wanted? I don't think so.

Same thing for relationships.

Just because the hole you need to fill is referenced as "Alice", doesn't mean Claire, Denise or Emily can't potentially fill it."