Life is kinda not worth it to me anymore

I(F31) am tired of everything, my family(they did noting wrong but being middle class in South Africa), trying to succeed, trying to get a job, apartments, relationships, if I had a poison that would kill me in an hour I would take it. Finished University, had nice title jobs that underpaid me, the best apartment in Cape town and Joburg, a nice following on social media, Tiktok, Instagram, friends, men. whatever you can think of but I left my recent job due to racism and trying to protect my mental health and everything spiraled down from there. I woke up one day and just realized life is fake, love is fake, being considered pretty with lots of followers is useless, people calling you pretty everyday is tiring when they end up asking you when are you getting married just makes me sicck, capitalism and being a slave ad making someone richer is a waste of time. arghhhh marn life is tiring....