Life can be amazing AND tough

(First time posting here. This was my comment on a post here. Sharing it to invite conversation and see if this could be helpful for anyone.)

I think life can be tough and amazing at the same time. I also think we can have a lot of expectations from life than is a good idea to have.

I am a 35-year-old agender queer female-bodied person from a country where the vast majority has no idea what being queer even means. For a long time, my life felt like it was on the verge of falling apart, but I kept holding it together—until now. And I think it's a good thing to have allowed myself to let it fall apart. After being a nomad for three years in a country where many women are not even allowed to step out of their houses without a man, I am living with my family again until some miracle happens.

I am going through tons of shit myself in life right now (financially, physically, emotionally) and literally have no certainty in life. We’re all going through a lot in my family (joblessness, malnutrition, lack of resources and opportunities), but that’s just how life is. It's an all-female household, which makes survival in my country a lot more difficult.

My dreams are on hold. My life is on hold. I wanna move to the mountains and that's on hold.

But none of this means that I do not find life amazing. In fact, I think I have never found life to be more beautiful than I do now. I think life will be tough a lot of the time because, perhaps, it was never meant to be easy all the time. You just have to learn to build resilience and the strength to endure it. Here is some of the stuff that is adding value to my life these days:

• I love going out for walks and having hobbies.
  
• Reading
  
• Slowly being able to learn to observe my thought and behavioral patterns.
• Learning to not run away from my problems.
  
• Physical activity
  
• Aiming for peace of mind.
  
• Chai!!!!
• Alone time (sucker for it)
• Waking up to the sound of birds
• Napping and noticing waking up how peaceful it can be in my house.
• Being away from social media like instagram and facebook
• Love being on my own so being on my own
• Home-cooled food. Cooking has never been my thing so I am really grateful that I get to have it without doing anything. It's one of those things I miss about home when I am away.

I think life will be tough a lot of the time because, perhaps, it was never meant to be easy all the time. You just have to learn to build resilience and the strength to endure it. People with money and romantic relationships can still have tonshit of problems.

One important thing that I have learned is it is better to talk about collective suffering (and there is a lot of it in the world right now) and what the structural causes are forthem. Focusing solely on one’s own pain doesn’t help. Dwelling on pain doesn't help. Action does (but not unnecessary). I recently baked my first bread and loved it.

One more new thing that I am trying these days is trying to add activities in my days that I would do if I had everything. I am still struggling a bit with that but I am trying :)

None of this makes me any better than anyone else. I literally struggle everyday but I don't wanna take my life for granted.

I am not really sure why I am posting this here but I thought there is no harm in sharing and see what happens.