Letter to my crush

Hey dear,

I am writing this letter while on my way back home for the holidays. I wanted to give it to you but I don't think I have the courage to face rejection at this point of my life. So here we go. Our first meeting was the most unusual meeting I had with anyone else in my life. You kinda did embarass me on my first day in college. I wouldn't go into the details but that day I hated you so badly. But after the first day you were always so so nice to me. I kinda hate myself for liking a guy who has the ability to embarrass me but also it was for something I did unintentionally so I guess it cancels out. Sometimes I wonder why the hell you are still single? Whats up with all the girls of our college? You are tall, smart, funny (like I have never met a guy more funnier than you seriously), athletic, cool, respects women in general, never uttered a single profanity (atleast in front of me and that's a huge deal for me). Our first proper conversation was at a party and we talked for like 5 minutes just you and me. And let me tell you those were the best 5 min of the year 2023 of me. I only wished that time stopped at that very moment and the conversation never ended. After that we always met in a group setting and you never reached out to me to meet or something so I kinda gave up on you. Recently we started meeting again (because of a comman friend) and I don't think I have smiled/laughed in my whole year, the amount I smiled during those conservations with you. Sometimes I feel that the way I feel for you has nothing to do with a personal connection. It's just the way you are that every girl will get attracted to you (if they don't they are not normal xD). I consider you out of my league so I don't think I will ever ask you out. Also, you are 2 years younger than me which makes the whole thing even more difficult and embarassing for me. These days I pray to god that I don't bump into you coz my mind gets fucked up after the conservations ( knowing that nothing is going to happen between you and me). I don't know why sometimes you just run away without making an effort to talk to me and other times you are so nice and considerate. I have only fallen in love twice in my life and you are my second love. I wish I could say all these nice things about you directly and even if you rejected me I wanted to let you know that you are an amazing person with every single detail of why you are one. Your mom did a very good job at raising a gentleman like you. Just please don't change ever. Just adding one more instance of the party at which we met recently. You asked me my flight I am taking for my way home and I kinda was a bit shocked. I don't think someone has ever asked me which flight I am taking home. And then you texted me for the first time with a query related to flights in those regions. You could have easily Googled that query. Why did you texted, oh god? And then we had a nice sweet conversation. And that's it now I am here even more confused than before. But I really felt very very nice during this entire episode. And it made my feelings a bit more stronger for you. Also I know you love playing tennis and you asked me if I do. And when I answered no, you told me that I should play it. Okay boss, next year I will try it definitely. Even if I don't have you atleast I will learn some new sport. Oh god I should stop now. That's it I hope you get this letter ( which is a bit far fetched) either in your feed or I don't know how. That's it. Even if I don't get you I would try to live life according to your philosophy: dont worry, be happy. Okay let's stop this now. -Your secret admirer, your forever well-wisher and someone who likes you immensely. Bye!