I don’t know where to start all I know is I’m lost. Very lost. Super long story short. I’m a good person in a bad way, Recovering alcoholic for almost 2 years, drank everything I ever had away, house, cars, career, everything, now 34 living with family and can’t seem to get ahead. I do try, I put so much effort into everything I do but always feel disappointed with everything and feel like nothing ever works or nothing is ever good enough for anyone in my life. The people I live with don’t care, 3/4 of my family are narcissists and I’m like the black sheep with a soul if that makes sense. very little makes me happy anymore because I feel so defeated in myself, Don’t get along well with family and I hate my job but without a car, no savings because of bills, spending habits on something to make me feel better like computers and fixing everyone else problems, I’ve just felt stuck and can’t seem to get ahead and I burn all my energy just trying to get by everyday to even try even more. I mean what does it really take?. The past two years have been what feels like the worst two years of my life, with no one to talk to that even seems to care, the beat down I’ve gotten from co workers, family, myself and life in general just feel crippling , I’m submerged in toxicity 24/7 and I insist on getting back up and going at it again but honestly I don’t know how much more I can take. I’m scared I’m going to hit a breaking point and either drink super heavily or do worse. My only solution I can tell myself is I gotta work harder and try to just ignore things and focus but it’s so hard. I hate to complain because others lives are so much worse and to some people my problems are nothing compared to what they’ve faced I just want to know how to do I keep going
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