If you recently became a target for the first time

If you recently realized you have become a target and they are starting to call you crazy then this is for you. I wrote it as a comment in a post yesterday. Reading it back to myself feels quite poetic. They hoped I would not make it but I did. I hope you do too. ——————

If this is really happening then they WANT you to waste your time trying to prove it. You’ll never prove it and they get to sit back and watch you unravel yourself.

They call it “letting the trash take itself out”.

If this is really happening, then your best bet is to pretend it is NOT happening, pretend all of this is normal, pretend maybe you were having a psychotic break but you’re starting to feel more normal now. PRETEND IF YOU MUST. You can calmly and quietly dispute or question things once, maybe even twice but PRETEND things are normal. Look up what normal people would do if the situation was normal. Pretend you don’t hear the whispers. Pretend.

If you pretend long enough you starve them out. If you pretend long enough then they have to watch their plans fail. If you pretend long enough they are forced to watch you overcome.

You will never forget what happened. You will remember like I do. You will look back and see more clearly that not everything was part of the plot but you will be able to see, just as clearly, that SOMETHING WAS HAPPENING. You will never forget. You don’t need to prove it to anyone. You’ll never be able to prove it. But you will know. ———————

And a few more things:

1. ⁠Watch out for situations that try to bait you into becoming violent. Arrests and charges are something they get to hold against you even after you make it through. A violent record is hard to shake if not impossible.
2. ⁠Resist angry outbursts. It’s almost as bad as violence, if not just as bad. This is why I hope you have a safe place to cry. I’ve been on elbows and knees screaming and howling into the carpet, snot like I’ve never seen, from crying so hard. You will sleep better after.
3. ⁠You are allowed to phase people out of your life without giving them a reason. Some near you may be trying to trigger you regularly and when you try to leave they may insist on knowing why. This is another trap to get you to say it. IF YOU TELL THEM WHY they will say it’s not true. Your urge to prove it will return and/or hot anger may rise up inside you.
4. ⁠You will have to do this alone. Don’t try to drag anyone with you. It is cruel to try to subject someone else to your reality. You really can’t trust anyone anyway. They too will be turned against you. It will hurt even worse. It will set you back. Keep everything surface level and pretend.
5. ⁠Persons like myself might notice what’s going on but we cannot help you. You’ll see the mercy in our eyes and the kindness in our words. We won’t participate but if we are forced to be present you will sense that we are different. Don’t ask us for anything. If someone is able to talk to you about it then they are very strong and protected in some way. We still cannot help you. Don’t ask us for anything.
6. ⁠Limit or eliminate your caffeine intake and try chamomile. Chamomile is not melatonin. The tea says it’s good for sleeping but really it’s good for relaxing. Anything that helps you relax which brings me to an important point -
7. ⁠Don’t drink or do drugs. I say this as a person that actually loves drugs lol but I’m serious. They may even pay someone to come offer you lots of your favorite drug. This is what they want. This is the easiest place for them to trap you and watch you suffer for a long time.

7A. Even if they don’t pay anyone to get you strung out you are still at risk. To do drugs you would have to get drugs and the people that have the drugs see you in your vulnerable position. They will take advantage of that. If hell is on earth this may be the worst level of hell.

7B. If you slip up occasionally then whoopsie. Do it in a safe place and do it alone. Clean up and keep going. Do not stay there. This is where they hope you will finish yourself off.

1. Do try to take your meds. It doesn’t have to be forever even if they say it is forever. Anti-psychotics in particular help. It’s like taking a break and helps you pretend. If the meds suck then tell the psych. You don’t have to take things that make you feel like a zombie. They should prescribe something different until you find something tolerable. The first couple of weeks always suck from what I hear and often this is when I’d stop taking because I felt unsafe. But anyway, at least try to take the meds.

2. Get security cameras for your own area and surrounding. Security lighting too. No one else needs access to it but keep the cameras visible. Don’t even mention that you have them, just leave them visible. The peace of mind is life changing.

Ok I think that’s it for now at least. If you can’t do all these things then do some of these things. If you mess up on some then it will just confirm what I said and why. It’s ok. I hope you win. ——————

Come to think about it, I was actually singing about this today as I was tidying up my home.

Because of what I’ve made it through I have hope for others. I have hope for the ones they call a “lost cause”. I have hope for the ones they say “lost their noodles”… the ones they like to talk about when they are hanging out together at a nice bar or restaurant and say “tsk, tsk, what a shame, they had so much potential”… as if there was no hope. I have hope for them.

I hope you understand my words. I hope you believe me. I hope you stay safe and I hope you have a safe place to cry. I hope you laugh through this. I hope you smile big. I hope you win. I hope you stay humble. I hope you know that proving it is not how you win, it is the false prize. Trying to prove it is the setup to lose.

I hope you have hope for the others after you make it past this.