4 days ago
7
Got a flurry of texts last night from a loved one who actually I was gonna ask to be official she pretty much said “I’m sorry I’m so sorry you’re a great and wonderful person really but my ex wants to get back together and I can’t pass this chance up I’m sorry I feel like a dick but I can’t miss this chance”(this ex also left her and the relationship was extremely messy) this was going so well I was likely going to meet her father this weekend I feel used and cheap I haven’t slept in about 20 hours I’m not some cheap fuck you keep around as a ego booster I just feel like a massive fool I haven’t even done my daily routine (a major part of my life is religious I spend 40% of my day reading and doing things that pertain to my religion) (she was of the same religion) I haven’t even left my bed I just feel like an outline of a person I have medical issues that will heavily impede me in 10-15 years it’s important to me to find someone who loves me for who I am fully as well as being open to the idea of being a caregiver and now I just have nothing at all I’ve been looking for years and it it’s inching towards when the time comes for me (if I can’t find “the one”) that I will likely go into a care home of sorts 🫠
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