I’ll probably never be rich, and I don’t know how to feel about it

I’m in my 30s, and lately, I’ve been grappling with something I haven’t really said out loud. I don’t think I’ll ever be rich. It’s not like I’m struggling. Far from it. I’ve got a good job at a bank, a master’s degree, a great group of friends, and even a fiancée. I go to the gym every day, I’m healthy, and my life, by all accounts, is solid. My parents used to be well-off too, but they’re now in debt, which I think has added another layer to how I see money and success. On the outside, everything seems great. But no one really knows this side of me.

I can’t shake the feeling that life is only really worth it if you’re rich. Not because I want to be flashy, but because of the freedom it gives you. The ability to do what you want without constantly thinking about money. And yet, I know I don’t have it in me anymore to chase that dream. I’ve worked hard to get where I am, but I feel like I’ve hit a ceiling. I lack the passion or energy to grind for another 10 to 20 years to maybe get there, and honestly, that scares me.

I’m not unhappy with my life. It’s actually pretty good. But I can’t help feeling like this good, stable life is just hollow without the freedom and options that wealth brings. I feel too old to reinvent myself, too tired to hustle harder, and stuck in this weird middle ground of being grateful for what I have but unsatisfied with what I don’t.

Has anyone else felt this way? How do you come to terms with the idea that your life might just stay average, even if it’s a good kind of average? Because right now, I’m struggling to find meaning in it all.