What life do I choose?

Growing up, I (21M) had an unstable life. Now, I face abandonment issues and all that. I didn’t want to have such a life so I focused on building my career and life to become stable. Ive had good summer jobs to gain experience, done lots of academic projects, been invited to do some presentations and conferences all while in school. I’ve been responsible, the good kid, and I’ve been in a committed 2 year relationship. But I feel unhappy? I think. I love my partner, love the work I’ve accomplished, but I keep thinking of how I’m only 21 and never been out living a chaotic life. Didn’t really party, didn’t have any random one night stands, only dated my current partner. My life is stable but apart of me wants to live today, right now. So, I left choosing between a stable life vs a chaotic life. I’m content with my partner, but I also wonder what else is out there in the world. If I stay, we move in, we get good jobs, and we live happily ever after. Or I break up, I’m sad for a bit, then I meet new people, expriment, find new pieces of myself; the stable life is how I always think, about the future. The other life is about the now, today. I don’t know what to do.