1 week ago
24
I don't beat myself up about the fact I could be doing more... I'm getting there slowly
But I'm fully aware of the fact that my life could be a lot more interesting. I have many skills from cheffing, running a business, understanding mental health and things. I'm incredibly creative and can come up with music on the spot, I play saxophone and bass guitar and can rap, sing, and produce. I can write decent poetry and lyrics. I can use a camera and edit video since I was a child
Honestly I'm just trying to get myself started on YouTube and get into the arts within my city but I lost my spark after a lot of trauma, drugs, and getting lost in wanting to be famous
I'm also very sensitive to negativity so I stop myself creating
At the moment I'm enjoying a peaceful life where I can come home and play video games and have no drama, I haven't had that for years
But I know that can't last forever so I'm trying to get more disciplined and active within my hobbies to try and make them a career
I think it might be adhd or something. My brain runs at 150mph even when asleep, I'm amazing when I focus on stuff but getting that focus is the struggle of my entire life
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