I feel like ima be like this forever.

Im 21 Turning 22 soon, when i was 16-19, i was in my prime. I had my own car, had 2 jobs, was working 80 hours a week taking care of my own shit. Now i just feel pathetic, worthless, just embarrassed. I have 1 job now and its part time and i work less then 40 hours a week and since everything is so expensive its barely possible to get by. I had 5 cars (used) that i spent atleast 25k on fixing and buying them (in total) now i got no car, the last car i had witch i worked my ass off and starved for, got t-boned the next day i got it. I got let go from my othet job cause i got injured in my arm and was in a splee and they recommended i not come back. I feel like a disappointment. I feel like i had it all. This isn’t the first time this happened to me cause the last 2 times i hit rock bottom, i always had that motivation, that thrive that power to just find something a job a purpose. I had a good job, good gym body, good relationship with someone i loved and friends. Now when people look at me, i feel judged. Like i smoke weed and they think im a drug addict. Or they make it obvious that i dont have what they have cause of my situation. I have bad ADHD and im not on medication. Over the past years i feel like its gotten worse. I cant even walk up the street to the barbershop cause i have so much anxiety everyone is looking at me judging me. I just wanna have a purpose. Everyday is a cycle and my days are coming and going in a second. My family is dissapointed. Friends i dont talk to anymore judge me because im not where i used to be. They know they got power over me and that i look stupid trying to defend myself. I dont wanna be rich, i dont even wanna be HAPPY. I just wanna be ok. Ok from everything. Not having the fear of being in this world. This is not who i used to be. Idk what happened to me. It gets so bad that i feel like ima be like this forever. I want a family i want a wife i want kids i want pets i want my own property with people close around me that i love. I want a purpose. But i cant push myself no more. I dont have that fight in me. I dont know how to be okay anymore.