I feel like I'm wasting my youth, but I also don't know what to do with it, or even with my life

I don't know how to start this because I feel is too weird, everyone I've confessed this to is unable to understand me, even said by themselves.

The general problem I'm facing right know is that I feel I'm wasting my youth, I'm living in a city I hate, surrounded by people that I don't like, living my days more in my mind than in the physical world, reading, searching about topics I like, meditating, and the one that leaves me feeling bad (because it feels like I'm trapped and there is no way out) searching ways I can get out of this shitty place and start finding what I really want to do in life, or if I even want to have a life.

But at the same time, when I think of having what I feel I "lack", I don't truly want it, for example I feel like I'm wasting my youth because I'm not trying to find a partner, but I don't want a sad and boring relationship like everyone around me has, I don't want to date somebody for two years, buy or rent a house in this shitty city together, find a shitty boring job and just let life be like the copy of everyones lifes. But at the same time I want to meet my soulmate, or so I think. Same with jobs, I want to find my passion because it's becoming too late for finding it, but I don't even like the world in a fundamental level, so how I am going to find a passion? Is there really something for me? It feels like I should accomplish everything before I'm 25 (I'm 24 so good luck to me lol) but I don't even know what it's that "everything" because when I see what "accomplish everything" for a human is, I just get really sad deeply in my heart, I hate it on a fundamental level, I keep asking myself "that's what it's supposed life to be? And that's a privileged and good life, not an existential torture?"

So there I'm, feeling bad everyday because I feel I'm getting too old for changing my life, and specially having the feeling of wasting my "good years", but at the same time fearing to take the steps because of the panic of failing in that boring and dull life that everyone has and I'm supposed to have and get trapped in, like every human seems to do.

On a deeper level, since I can remember, I just feel like an anomaly, the feeling that life is just not for me eats away my mind, everything seems to tell me that this world is not for me and I just need to be "eliminated".